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That Which We Believe We Cannot Possibly Say or Do
The hillside crumbles under my boots, their quarter-inch steel spikes useless against the soft earth, as I hike out of yet another valley I’ve only just descended into. Grasping a handful of sword fern, I haul myself up another step. No one can hear me huffing and cursing, but I…
Thank God for TikTok and Monster Trucks
Every time I come back to the town I spent the first half of my life in, I’m reminded of the well-known maxim, attributed to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, about no man being able to step into the same river twice — “for it’s not the same river and he’s…
When I Know Who I Am
In the process of reviving an article I wrote maybe five or six years ago, I was surprised by how little I sounded like my present self. The state of mind I described initially was similar to my current one: not consistently sad or lonely but not especially content; not…
Instead, Get Curious
Faced with circumstances we find undesirable our first instinct is typically to resist. We rarely see the obstacles in front of us for what they are: independent opportunities to learn or gather new data. Confrontations, disagreements, and mistakes can all be abundant sources of useful information—if we do not take…
Where the Ones We Lose Go
Established in 1853, in the heart of Lisbon, the Jardim de Estrela (star park) is home to a number of sprawling ficuses, some at least as old as the park itself. The long, gnarled branches of the one I’m sitting under stretch not only up but way out, creating a…
A Simple yet Effective Formula
The store is hot and crowed; my scarf feels like a python slowly strangling the life out of me; and this basket is so heavy, I feel like my shoulder is being pulled from its joint. Finally, we’re at the register—but on this particular day, of course, they won’t accept…
Keep the Noise Down
Sitting in my favorite cafe in Stockholm, I read and drink coffee as people come in and out and swirl around me. Some days, after I’ve finished—if I have truly been tuned in to my experience—when I get up and walk out the door, for a split second, I’m surprised…
There Is a Way
The 101 North is something very different in Western Washington than it is in Southern California. Up here, there’s only traffic if you make it, by going above or below the modest posted speed limits. It is, I will say, a pleasant drive. Especially when Bodhi (my ’93 Jeep Cherokee…
Read, Write, Make Art from Trash
Walking out of Phuket International Airport—a full 24 hours after entering Stockholm Arlanda—I am still not in a hurry. For the next seven days, like it or not, I will be living at a hotel in Patong: a bustling resort town off the southwest coast of Thailand. Making the most…
A Far Brighter, More Interesting Place
In Sometimes a Great Notion—a story about a family of loggers in rural Oregon—Ken Kesey describes an early exchange between two of the main characters: Lying naked together in the bed of his truck, Hank asks Viv, his future wife, what she wants out of life. Besides a pet canary…
Just Talk to Each Other
Over a cup of coffee, my friend Drew tells me about the time he sat on the edge of his bathtub with a pistol in his mouth. He tells me how depressed and alone he felt. And he tells me how, all these years later, he can still taste the…
A Choice Made Daily
Awakened by the familiar robotic chirp of my alarm clock—a boxy, 1980s relic with no snooze function—I fumble in the dark trying to switch it off. The sudden silence is warm and welcoming, as are my blankets. And it takes every bit of tenacity I can muster to peel them…
I Look Up
Walking slowly but purposefully along the narrow ridge trail leading back to my campsite, I look down upon the Strait of Juan de Fuca, getting darker and more reflective by the minute. There’s a bench, so I sit—tapping my fingers on the flat, smooth cover of Sy Montgomery’s The Soul…
Mine Belongs to Me
Northern California and southern Oregon are a blur of ponderosa pines and Douglas-fir passing just beyond my widow. Arriving at Crater Lake, I peer down into the electric-blue water—amplified by the pure-blue, cloudless sky—I feel a distinct shift. By the time I get to Idaho, having been on the road…
No One Thinks I’m a Writer but Me
If I’m not a writer, that makes things very confusing. Because when I’m hunched over my laptop, day after day, I certainly feel like a writer. Am I still a writer, though—if no one thinks I’m a writer but me? Often I’m told—usually with good intention—all the things I should be: a…
Let’s Just Keep Things Light—and Wonderfully Mysterious
In 1785 the poet Robert Burns was plowing his field in rural Scotland when he accidentally stirred up a mouse’s nest. With her lodging destroyed, and plans for winter dashed to pieces, the mouse disappeared into a sea of churned earth. Sensing a deeper metaphor for life, as artists tend…
The Last Safe Place on Earth
Koh Mook, Thailand — it sure feels like the last safe place on Earth. For weeks my friends and I dare only to whisper of our island’s possible immunity — not from the virus itself but from the fear it’s causing. But as the pandemic hysteria creeps closer, those of…
That’s Being an Introvert
Technically it’s still the high season on this side of Thailand. My shorefront hostel on Koh Lanta, though, is empty. I’m literally the only guest. Old Town is a ghost town—but I’m not complaining. I’m staying here for a few days because I needed a break from the social pressures…
Start by Tearing Something All to Pieces
Over the past few years I’ve painted a lot. And many of those pieces hung on the walls of my various apartments in Los Angeles for months at a time. However, shortly after I started hanging those paintings up, I also began taking them down and zealously destroying them. The…
Something More Than Gravity
My small bungalow is just steps away from the beach. It has four walls, electricity, a fan, and a desk. There’s no kitchen, no hot water, and my mattress is rock hard—but the rent is less per month than a joint cell phone plan. Hardly a Spartan existence; but I think…
When Siri Cusses You Out—Listen
One of the most important lessons I’ve received about patience and humility came from a very unexpected source. Not from a dear friend or admired colleague but from everyone’s favorite, always helpful but sometimes hard-of-hearing personal assistant—Siri. I was driving somewhere in Los Angeles, when a thought came to me…
It’s Just Compensation
My first full-time job was at a small auto repair shop in my hometown. I was about to turn seventeen and spent the whole summer cleaning the shop, doing oil changes, and running out for parts. For this, I got paid Washington State’s then minimum wage of six dollars and ninety…